It’s Okay to Be Sad: 3 Things to Remember When You’re Hurting

This week, we took my daughter to school for her junior year of college. If you’re staring down a freshmen year drop-off, know that it does get easier but easier does not equal easy. It’s been  hard. My wife and I adore our daughter and in her absence we’re sad. 

Yep, we’re sad. 

As an adult, it feels funny to say it out loud (or write it down). Sad feels like something children feel. When someone asks you how you are doing you would never say “I’m sad.” 

Well, almost never. I’m saying it right now. I’m sad. 

If you’re sad, too, this is for you. This is for us. I’ve been talking to Jesus this week about sadness and here are some of the things He’s been reminding me: 

 

It’s okay to be sad. 

 

It needs to be said because some of us feel like it is NOT okay. 

Sadness feels like an obstacle to productivity, a road block to the bright life you’re expected to live. Sadness is weakness in a world that values wellness and strength. 

Here’s a reality check: sadness is part of life and anyone who tells you otherwise is selling you something you won’t find in the Bible. Look at Psalm 42:

3 - My tears have been my food day and night,

6 - My soul is downcast within me;

You can read the rest of it here. 

Too Old Testament? What about Jesus: 

John 11:35

Jesus Wept. 

Jesus wasn’t crying tears of joy. His friend died and he was standing in front of his tomb. It wasn’t performative. It was real emotion in a moment of grief even though He knew what was coming next. 

Being sad doesn’t make you a bad person. It makes you a PERSON.

 

Sadness won’t last

 

Let me be abundantly clear before we go any farther: this is not me telling you to “get over it”. When I said it was okay to be sad, I meant it. 

That being said, sadness won’t last. It won’t. 

Revelation 21:4

And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.

There is a time coming when there will be no more sorrow. It isn’t now but its out there. “Amen. Come, Lord Jesus.” (Psst… that’s a paraphrase of Revelation 22:20.) 

 

You are not alone

 

All of us will feel lonely. It is part of being human. Feeling lonely is not the same as being alone. You and I are never alone. God is with us. All the time. 

 

Hebrews 13:5

…I will never leave you or forsake you.

 

I added the emphasis on “never” because I want us to remember it. Never. Never ever ever. Never never. NEVER. 

It’s a fact that we have to hang on to because that feeling of loneliness I mentioned above? We will feel it. 

Here’s David again: 

Psalm 42:9

I say to God my Rock,

    “Why have you forgotten me?

Why must I go about mourning,

    oppressed by the enemy?”

 

David feels abandoned and he tells God about it. We can do the same. 

As you read the Psalms, you will find over and over again that David (and other writers) pour themselves out. They tell God how they are feeling, what is happening, and they ask for help. So often, we hold back. We have things that we don’t take to the Lord because we are afraid we might offend Him. “If he really knew what we were thinking in the middle of this sadness, God would walk out.”

Would He?

Never. Never ever. NEVER. 

We can do the very same thing that David did. We can take our sadness (or whatever we are feeling) to the Lord. In those moments when we are real with God, when we stop holding back, we will find that God is bigger than we think He is. He is bigger than our feelings, bigger than our circumstances. 

You do not have to hold back or put on a brave face. You can take anything and everything to the Lord. He won’t walk out. You are not and never will be alone.