Betty's college bio needed some help

Betty's first assignment as a new student at Colorado Christian University was to write a personal bio so her fellow students could get to know her. Here's what she wrote:

Hello! My name is Betty. I’m currently working in christian radio and have done so for 8 years now. I really enjoy it but eventually I would like to work in senior care. I’ve always had a heart for the elderly and that’s why I’m working to get my bachelor’s degree in Health Care Management.

She did a fine job, but we thought she could kick it up a bit. Here's what we each came up with. [soundcloud url="https://api.soundcloud.com/tracks/219782847" params="auto_play=false&hide_related=false&show_comments=true&show_user=true&show_reposts=false&visual=true" width="100%" height="450" iframe="true" /] [wdca_ad ] Zach's:

Hi y’all! I’m Betty Lou. After 12 years of schoolin’, I decided to take a 12 year break, but now I’m ready to get back in the game and get my degree online. Finally a college that’s as mobile as my high school! I learned so much in that trailer. I was voted Most Friendly in high school but that doesn't mean I like people. I do like my cat Clementine and reading and owls and Mike Rowe. I’ve worked in radio the last 8 years, and along the way discovered I really want to work with old people. Not the mean old people like my current boss, but the sweet old people that watch the same black and white movies I do.

Wally's:

Hello my name is Betty Rock. I work on the most amazing radio show with one of the most amazing hosts ever, Wally, but I will have an entire section of my bio dedicated to him further down. I am 5’5’’ 101 pounds and I want to get my degree in senior care because I like my men like I like my movies…….OLD. I am 30 years old and have never been married and my philosophy is simple: anyone who doesn’t like cats should come back as a mouse in the next life…not that I believe in reincarnation I just love cats…a lot. I like to travel as long as it is from my kitchen to my couch. I am a spontaneous, free spirit, who loves to plan and doesn’t like surprises. I waited a few years to continue my education because of my tireless work for world peace, but I am looking forward to being in class with you all and getting you to do as much of the work on group projects for me as possible. #BettyForClassPresident

Bekah's:

Hello, my name is Betty. (Mike Rowe: You're a precious little snowflake.) I'm currently working in Christian radio (Mike Rowe: You know, follow your dreams or go broke, right?) and have done so for 8 years now. (Mike Rowe: I'm still here.) I really enjoy it but eventually I would like to work in senior care. (Mike Rowe: The bad news is, there'll be no money.) I've always had a heart for the elderly, (Mike Rowe: I'm talking about grandfather stuff) that's why I'm working to get my bachelor's degree (Mike Rowe: The transition from ignorance to knowledge) in health care management. (Mike Rowe: I'm clever that way.)