Hi Wally,
I'm 21 years old and I listen to the Wally Show Podcast all the way from California.
After reading the subject line of this e-mail, you're probably wondering how The Wally Show can help a Porn Addict.
Well, the truth is, you guys have. And here's the story of how:
My husband and I have been married for almost two years. About 5 months ago, I found out my husband had been living a double life. From 9 to 5 Monday through Friday, he would be addicted to watching pornography, masturbating, and exchanging messages, pictures, and videos with prostitutes through email and many different cheating apps.
In his job he doesn't have any kind of supervision. He works alone all the time which is why he would do all these things at work and not at home.
He lived this lifestyle for almost a year. I had no idea because he would delete the apps and clear the history. And honestly, I never saw any "signs" or "red flags".
That entire time I was under the impression my marriage was great! He and I were both serving the Lord (or at least I thought he was) and we were also involved in ministry. I've been with him for almost 5 years and he has never cheated on me. To be honest, he was a great guy! Loved and feared The Lord, Pastor's Kid all his life, involved in the worship team ministry, respectful and very humble.
When he got caught, he did apologize and recognize he had a serious problem, but our marriage has been a "HOT MESS" since he got caught. He still struggles with coming clean about the secrets that are still hidden.
We have made a conscious effort to "lock down" and track all the activity on his cell phone and laptop. He no longer has access to the internet, email or the ability to add/delete an app. To this day, he still admits that if it weren't for all these restrictions on his phone, he probably would still be doing the horrible things he was doing in the past.
However, (this is where The Wally Show comes in) he has picked up a new "addiction" to do at work and that's listen to the Wally Show Podcast! Even I have picked up on that "addiction" too! :)
We are so thankful to God for the job you guys are doing. I want you all to know that your work does not go to waste. You guys are impacting the lives of so many people, and I want you to know that my husband has replaced pornography with The Wally Show.
Instead of watching trash on the internet all day at work, he just listens to The Wally Show podcast all day. (Yes, in the past three months he has probably listened to every single Wally Show podcast EVER.)
You all are absolutely amazing! You guys bring joy and laughter in our lives even though we are going through extremely hard times.
We are still struggling with this issue. And I know you guys have talked about the subject of infidelity and pornography on the show. I've been hesitating about sharing our story but when you announced that The Wally Show was partnering with Rock House Center, I took a leap of faith and submitted my HOT MESS entry.
Deep down inside I have hope that God has a plan and a purpose for our lives and our marriage. But I'd be lying if I said I don't have thoughts of divorce and separation. I have forgiven my husband, However, I still battle with whether or not I want to spend the rest of my life struggling with not being able to trust him. Trust is HUGE for me. And he knew that waaaay before we even started dating. I just do not think I can be with someone who I do not fully trust.
I'm not making a sudden and irrational decisions though. I want my decisions to be guided by God. We are both very young and have a long life ahead of us but only God knows our plans and our future (whether its to be with each other or not.)
Thank you for taking the time to read this. May God Bless you all and your ministry!
By the way, we have been listening to The Wally Show podcast every day for the past three months. Are we considered faithful poddies yet? :)
I really appreciate you sharing your story with me. I know it is not an easy one to tell.
I think you are amazing staying in this because it would be easy to leave and you have big hurdles to get past. This thing doesn’t cure itself over night and I respect you saying you are not making sudden decisions. That is healthy for both of you and your marriage succeeding not only relies on his choices, but yours as well.
I truly hope you guys can get this worked out, but I will say he is going to need to get some help. This is a thing that does not go away on it’s own. You can curtail the behavior temporarily, but until it is truly dealt with deep inside it will continue to appear.
Thanks for submitting a Hot Mess. I hope we get to talk to you because your story is all too common and I think could benefit not only you, but others as well.
Later
