It’s a strange thing to miss someone you’ve never met.

Hi, I’m Joy and I just had a birthday. But the day after my birthday is my brother’s birthday. It’s a day that has always been bittersweet for my family. My brother only lived for five days. He was a year older than me, and in the 1980s, doctors didn’t have the technology to detect heart defects like they do today.

My parents believed everything was normal throughout the pregnancy, and were so excited to welcome a second baby boy into their family. They were devastated when doctors told them my brother wouldn’t live long. They cherished him for those five days, holding onto every moment before he passed. In the midst of their grief, they received the unexpected news that they were pregnant with me. They were surprised, excited, and scared. I was born nearly a year later, almost to the day.

They brought me to my mom in the hospital wrapped in a unique blanket. It was the exact same one they had buried my brother in one year before. It was in that moment, my parents decided to name me Joy. My mom said, “God brought us joy after the greatest pain we had ever known.”

This time of year, my family always navigates a mix of emotions, balancing loss and gratitude. I wanted to share my story with you because if you are experiencing pain, I want you to know it doesn’t mean your story is over.  

Hold on—joy is still ahead.